I recently overheard a woman explain that she named her daughter Morrissey after her great aunt's maiden name. Although the mother looked the right age, she didn't look the type to have had a Smiths poster on her college dorm wall. Maybe it was just coincidence, or maybe suburban motherhood had erased the last traces of a sullen youth. But what a great idea: scrounge up an obscure relative, and you can justify naming your kids after your favorite musicians.

Really, such "honors" are better saved for pets who won't have to bear the potential emotional scars. Okay, maybe I named my kittens something other than Iggy and Townshend because I'm still clinging to the idea of one day using those as baby names. But if you want someone else to save you the trouble, there's a dog named Zappa available for adoption at the Evanston Animal Shelter.